Rebels are in the house , 911πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒnow save me. Nooo, it’s not that kind of thing. Am talking about the four legged villians inside u house the rats😀. The big black rat, that produces alot of other rats that invade the house, u kitchen, stealing all u cheese,meat, ground nuts, chewing u feet at night πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Fashioning u clothes ( I got a new tailor in the house, his rather eatty because he works with his teeth on the cloth).

My home trailor, he knows all the layers to my outfit πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I know that experience of rats every one has gone through it, buying rat traps( having to sacrifice u piece of meat to put on the rat trapπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚) and u end up falling for ur own trap. Buying rat poison with an expiry date πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ it’s never works

It’s really funny how poison has an expiry date, so wat when it expires it will be more poisonous or less

It’s poison people.

Hi am not writing all these because am a rat hater , coz I know the rats have there freedom of expression πŸ™„and of speech on this point

Stay the hell out of my house 😠😀😀 before I tear u apart for circumcision πŸ˜‚

But they too have family, staying with them it’s just a happy big family together, why do we really have to go on crossing with each other and being generation enemies πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Mr. Rat once said a family that eats together stay together, that is why u should stop killing my babies that fall for u Rat trap( just rats undergoing adolescence, that’s allπŸ˜‚)

I really feel for Mr. Rat but I promise to kill him some day

Short story

I was in a boarding primary school where we were allowed to take snacks, alot. The largest population at school had these huge bowls of gnut pasteπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ delicious. This paste always attracted the rats. There is one time the rats invaded the school, the suitcases

. Most of our uniforms were eaten by the ratsπŸ˜‚, u open u suitcase excited to have a gorillo snack ,bummmm u find mr. Rat finishing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ur snack with his tiny teeth. Many girls in the dormitories shouted out of fear, till now am scared of rats.

The funniest thing was at night, the rats could blow on u feetπŸ˜‚it always felt nice, only to wake up the next day when your feet are hurting with some rat bitesπŸ˜‚on them.πŸ˜‚how I miss those days at school, running around with rats.

Finally the school solved the issue but never again will I allow my feet to peep out of the blanket while am sleeping . Never

Never, never

They may look all cute but they are notπŸ˜‚


Written by

Martha Atwine

The Greener Grass

The grass is not always greener on the other side as we all expected.

Every day we have to learn to love and appreciate ourselves for what we are and wat we have become.

Thank God for all the challenges and tribulations because they give us the strength to have the confidence and more faith in him

In life we keep comparing ourselves with others and yes, all that steals our joy because we fail to see the beauty within us. We fail to clearly see the stars beyond the sky

Comparison is a theif of joy

We keep hoping to have wat others have

We are in this search of who we really are, we are looking harder by comparing ourselves with other people, we doubt who we are and who we can be.

Lord, show me what to do, who to be. Give me the courage and boldness to stand strong to be who I want to be walking the path u want me to walk, u are my identity, u are in me and I am in you. Your word is spirit and it’s life.

The word of God becomes healing to every other word the enemy said you are when u are not. ❀️❀️

Written by:

Martha Atwine

The offline punishment πŸ˜”

Kiri Uganda mama nyaboπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚( common wise saying in Uganda meaning ,it’s in UgandaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

The offline punishment , where every who Tom duckings has to be offline. Someone asked why,

In my country Ugandan the offline punishment given to the whole country by the president in 2021, was just a safety thing bula bula bula, I was online when he spoke , I was using a sneaky way of staying online πŸ˜‚ VPN then bummm am off

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ crying as though every day I received a message πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

😭😭😭😭days without Twitter, no watsup, no YouTube, no word press, cannot waste time seeing fake Life on social media πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚I know it hurts but Theses are earthly things , they come an go. That is why my phone battery lasted 3 days without charging, for real.

You may ask how long was it being offline as in the whole country πŸ˜‚ . It was 4 days, yes four.

feeling of internet shutdown in Uganda
1. I hear we gat an internet curfew by 6pm, no more internet use pastπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚am joking

2. Internet blackout

3. I have alot of SMS but cannot dare. I have many followers but I don’t have real life and friends offline πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³am alone

4. I had alot of minutes to call my friend but I just called and saying Hi, told him to call me back with the reply πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

5. Business, am not a business person on social media. I do feel for those business promoting

6. That feeling of finally noticing that it’s been a year since you watched news clearly πŸ˜‚, because u are ever texting

7. That feeling when u release u Don’t remember how to use a pen on election dayπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

8. That the level of creativity increased

This can happen to you
But this boredom can happen to you to

I remember playing that game on these huge computers, when I didn’t know . It seemed so cool u know.

This is not so bad, good thing the largest population Don’t have phones πŸ˜‚ it doesn’t create alot of damage compared to European countries that rely so muh on technology and the internet.

😭😭😭😭😭I couldn’t even use Google

Written by

Martha Atwine

The News hour😳😳

It’s funny, how every home has that terrifying hour or even hours in a child’s life “the news hour” where mum and dad are glued to the TV screen. They are glued on the sofa watching the news headlines, news itself, the news breaks, the sports news, the news or the news. Channel to channel. I dare u to touch the remote or even think about it.

My dad worried if I will make noise during news hoursπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Sssssssssssh is the only sound from some of them.

Shout up u, uuuuuu ,uuu ,goo to u rooms , mum and dad are watching news . Even the sweetest last born doesn’t survive those words.

I really don’t know why all the novella soaps decide to put the interesting girlish sunsations on such hours, the news hours 7 , noooo, 8 – comeon people, 9- wat the, 10- am done. Every hour on alejazera.

My first time to watch CNN , BBC it was when dad started watching news while having supper.

My second time, I had just watched a touching movie called gifted hands by Ben Carson about a black boy who was so bad at school but started watching news and yeah he later become a surgeon bula bula and some other things. You now know wat I was thinking, all I had to do to pass my mathematics exam was to sit all day long and watch newsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„hi the movie said Soo, it never works.

Third time when I watched , was for a minute when I was looking for better channels with cartoons to watch so i bypassed the news channels once againπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

The news tremor in childhood was beyond. I remember one day I happened to break a plate during news hours 😳😳😳my dad turned his head at an angel of 360 degree. If u only saw wat I saw, never ever make noise while parents are watching news.

In my teen years I always used the news hours to get favors from mum and dad, nagg them to the core just to have a night out with friends πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ it always works since am bothering them as they are trying to listen to the news. ( Don’t make me begin with elections newsπŸ˜‚)

I gave up on somethings like soaps and stuff , yes as I grow am loving the news hour because am now in the big sit, the sofa bagging all those who make any sound during news hours πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”I now understand my parents, even a whisper , nooooooooo shhhhhhhhhhhh

That there is more real stuff in life than that cartoon Network episode about SpongeBobπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚am now awake

It’s the news hour


Writing by:

Martha Atwine

Screenshots worth sharing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚that feeling

πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚this is too much noo. Like for real,it’s a Nokia phone. It never breaks .I tried to break mine inorder to get a new phone dammn wat do they even put in them

Please please please just die,I need a new phone, everyone is getting an iPhone, Nokia this once dieπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I read an article that in a war some where, some solider took a Nokia phone to use , like it has a compass in the settings and some cool snake game. In the battle in Vietnam with all the explosives ,it was only, only the Nokia phone that did not get a scratchπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ please break, this once

To all the patient guysπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

This is a message that yes , guys can be patient. Please wait for that hot babeπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚that guy will later die. They even say until death does us apart πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

Hiii, please move on, 3 years waiting. Who can wait that long.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Yeah it’s something like that.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚now that has just killed me.

We are going to eat all the applesπŸ˜‚no more doctor’s. I feel for that doctor, noooooo

😑😑😑😠😠😀 they are just too long

They are just 5 seconds πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£but noooooo, they are just so long. U are trying to watch this dope YouTube video and here it comes , an ad about soda🀣🀣 about alot of funny things.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£it reached that point

It reached that point where his showing u that his love for animals is beyond the wild but also domestic πŸ˜‚a goat. wat he means greatest of all time.

πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£β€οΈπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£nooooo a goat in my wedding photo. Wildlife photographer 🀣🀣u are the best

It’s really hurts every time🀣

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚it’s are true story. How guys after shaving they look so young, so cuteπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚so I don’t even know wat to say. Cutteee bubububu cuteπŸ˜‚less bush.

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚love is a beautiful thing

It is ,wat it isπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Love myself, myself loves me a, me love IπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚so romantic and cute,best relationship ever

Let’s continue growing the spirit of self-love but also loving each other as Jesus Christ tells us ,love u neighbor as u love urself.

Stay sweet .love u all, be the reason for someone’s smile.

Time for some artistic moment

Original photoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
My first time feeling like an artist πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚self love. My fingers πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Written by:

Martha Atwine

Long distance relationships

Every time u search about long distance relationship, they really show a long distance between people who love each other. For example a guy from Greece is in love with a babe from a London 😳now that is a long distance.

Yes, there I am telling myself am in a long distance relationship with a guy. We are in the same country, just seprated by kilometers ( gulu and am in Kampala) woooooooo. Just not at that point in my life to finance myself to go to northern Uganda. Now wat do u expect we do, definitely chatting online on watsup ( where we initially met and became friends), sometimes zoom meetings tho am rather uncomfortable with the video calls( I do panic), calls, emails. The love tries to hold on , stay as intimate as we possibly can but it’s never easy.

Having to Know each other, telling each other about our horrible and good days. The different lifestyles and everything in love. When it comes to having an argument, when am so mad and I just want to talk it through face to face, I just end up writing a text. Emojis really help🀣 they bring out the angry mood that, yes it terrifies u partner😑😑😑am fumming bae, come here or else I won’t send u ❀️a heart emoji forever 🀣🀣🀣

If u haven’t experienced long distance relationship, it’s not easy but yeah it creates trust that is beyond. That even if I spend months ( which I never want to ) without talking to the guy it makes u freak out, like damn ” is he dating some other chic that side”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ but let’s always trust out partners,hope am talking to someone.

Love is patient and kind, humble all the time, those words from the Bible keep me holding on every single time.

For a long distance relationship to work, communication is key, don’t over communicate ( just remember that it’s not about the many calls or long conversation that make it work but the quality )

Also giving each other space. I did struggle in that issue when I failed to acknowledge and see the signals my long distance boyfriend always put trying to ask for space from me, like the busy thing which he could be but all the time, like the no replies , yes I could sense he was starting to ignore and taking me for granted and he stopped valuing me. In that situation I thought I had to put to much effort and be with him more , so I increased the calls and stuff like that till he got tired of me. Yes the relationship went in to a huge mess that even after giving him space we never talked again.

So always remember give each other space so that u actually miss each other. Space makes the heart be fonder for each other, trust me on this.

Most times in the long distance relationship , the ladies often feel the love is reducing therefore they always want to be reminded that they are loved by their partner, they love to feel needed, special.

Also don’t forget to invest time in the relationship even if it’s long distance, yes every relationship needs time

That’s all from me, share u views about long distance relationships.

Written by: Martha Atwine

The old joke

The old joke goes,

Babe: honey am fat

Dude: I like u that way

Babe: bae am hungry, carry me to the kitchen

Dude: babe I love u so much,no need. I will bring the kitchen to u


I really love it very time I tell my guy that bae am fat, just to see his reaction πŸ˜‚πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ™„πŸ™„ the day he told me Yap u are and you should lose weight, I did get angry at him. Yes , those who love you will always tell u the truth ( I mean actually love u)

The old joke goes:

Patient enters the doctor’s office, patient says : doctor when I move my hand like this, it hurts. Doctor replies then don’t move it like that.

Fat girl enters the doctor’s office, fat girl says: doctor when I move my hand like this, it hurts. Doctor replied: Have you considered weight loss surgery πŸ™„( come one)

The old joke goes:

Educate a woman build a nation, yes here I am in the system.

The old joke goes:

U brought it to urself, like ” why did u wear a seductive outfit?” No wander she was harrassed. It’s what you were looking for.

The old joke goes:

Who does she think she is

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚here I am writing old stuff, that are not that old. Am just aging

Written by: Martha Atwine πŸ˜‰

Church girl

A church girl I am.

Is a girl who is known to be so much associated with religious, church stuff and yes also she is female πŸ™„( just being clear)

It has never been easy confronting the church girl stereotype if u asked me( boy it’s sick).

” oh my gosh you’re a church girl?!” I chuckled and reluctantly and said yes yes yes yesπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚( ok it’s never that fun, but I did reply) yes am a girl who loves God and going to church ( if I tell you that church is not just a place we go to an pray but it’s a family we actually belong to).

Let me begin with the few stereotypes I have experienced with people

1. Will u really stay a virgin till marriage ( wat happens in Vegas stays in Vegas). Do u really, like “girl! Damn” u are missing out. Sex is delicious πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. But hi am choosing to live on the standards of God, just little patience till marriage then I enjoy forever πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ delicious 😘.

2. Church girls are slow, are they? I cannot really say they are, I think it’s according to someone’s personality ( don’t make me start with church boys).

My short story about a church boy. # them being slow. So there is this one time I happened to crush on a church boy and yes I didn’t really like attending church ( generally being around people, naaaa ). So this one day I decide to go to church and I crushed on a church boy and booooooom, this baby girl had to come out of her 🐚 shell and attend church every Sunday. I remember staying longer after the end of the service ( ok now this was not the best reason for going to church but hi, it helped me . I did receive the messages of salvation). Finally I noticed the church boy was over staring at me( 😍😍how I blushed, but nooo, am at church πŸ₯ΊπŸ₯ΊπŸ₯Ίfocus girl , focus) I was so sure he was crushing on me. It took me years for the guy to notice and tell me his feelings πŸ˜‚ wat am sure he was praying hard, looking for a sign if I am the one, fasting πŸ€”πŸ€”I wonder if he did fast for me πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¬. The end.

πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯yap that feeling

3. Church girls are boring. No who saying that( where my AK97). Yes I think it’s also one’s personality. Let’s not just judge people πŸ˜‚

I once saw this guy with a huge head and I said his fake but when he wore a cap, he was soooooooo, ( my saliva dropped πŸ˜‚) yes . I really don’t know how the huge head could actually fit in the small cap and he looked hot.

4. They are ever at church, talking about God. Yes she is ever at church and u are ever at a club( she will send that drinking spirit out of you into πŸ€”πŸ€”am dry but u get the point) in Jesus’s name , Amen

5. They wear really long clothes. There is so dope movie I watched , it’s called A WALK TO REMEMBER . That movie is actually about a bad boy who falls in love with a church babe whose fashion sense is terrible actually to him( little close to mine) . Yes, there will be an attractive, a difference, that u will find in a person that he fashion sense becomes ok.

So yes, this is my blog. Baby girl speaking her mind and yes there are many things that I don’t know about life but am happy am alive and I just want to grow and learn each day.

Share some of the stereotypes about church girls also what it’s like dating a church girl. Those are the few I could talk about ( I have tried explaining, I need a soda). Love u all, stay sweet, be kind and mostly smile always πŸ˜‰

Written by; Martha Atwine

The first date β€οΈ

Being the youngest child at home, basically am always told stories about the experiences of the elders at home, bit relationships, high school and yes first dates.

I was always told never to go on a date with a guy who is not yet your friend, to go out and let the guy order for u wat to eat, hi u may put him in zibs of ordering an expensive meal that you urself cannot buyπŸ˜‚so the whole point is just order wat u , urself can afford ( but also be urself, go crazy and enjoy his money).

Yes. Dates are not always about food but the fact of going out with a person and having something to eat reduces the tension of lacking wat to say( first date shyness πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚) , I will just keep myself busy on the plate of food, hoping not to chock after eating a huge piece of meat. Some guy once said, ” Am not her father, she will go eat at home”πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚true true.

My first date

Had spent months chatting with a rather charming guy and yes had made him my friend so I was ready to accept and outing with him, my first date. I was excited, freaked out like crazy. I had spent years without going out, and yes just like any other babe I had my insecurities about size being chubby ( boy, self love rocks always hold on to it)I had so much on my mind, will I be taller or shorter than him, will he like my looks, alot was going through my mind. I remember downloading videos that talk about the do’s and don’t’s of a first date, all the research I made on Google πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚let’s continue.

Finally the big day reached I had to go out with this guy, I met up with him in town


ExplosivesπŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ( now am over reacting) yes it just so happened that on my first date in my whole teenage life, there were strikes in town, tear gas, gun fires, and also death .πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚I was so scared, good thing all those things happen just after meeting my date. He was really good looking ( πŸ€”am seriously loving for vocabulary on a first date, ok generally on a guy) but yeah he definitely caught all my five senses πŸ˜‚( attention span 100%)

As the gun fires started in town , every one ran trying to find a safe place to hide, my date held my hand firmly and told me to run with him (πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ seriously I wasn’t ready to die on my first date with a guy, nooooooooo, noooo way) do u know wat it means dying hungry, not even Moses alwayed it with a guy πŸ˜‚

As I ran with this guy, I felt safe. Wat turned me off was the fact that I started panting after running a mile (hi don’t blame me, I last ran in school when lunch was getting done, please)

We finally found a safe place and waited for the gun fires in town to stop. It took about 4hours that town became safe . We found a place to eatπŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹ finally food ( now we are talking)

As we waited to order, I kept my mum’s words in my mind,” don’t order, let him order” yes he did order for me because I refused to. The meal was really tasty, πŸ˜‚when ever we packed wat to talk about I play with food and did crazy stuff ( hi , am charming babeπŸ€—had to find a way)

Food always reduces the tension.

Yes, that is a small story about my first date that started off with gun fires to me having the best time of myself. If someone asked if I want to go out on another date with that guy my spider Man, I would definitely say yes yes yes.


I call him spider Man because his thin and I am chubby so I could just get stuck on him πŸ˜‚πŸ˜… .

Written by:

Martha Atwine

Being home 2020

Every one of these stagesπŸ˜…πŸ˜…made me crazyπŸ˜‚

Covid 19 pandemic made being home as the best way to feel safe, justifies to all my love for staying home . Someone can say introverts like me enjoyed it, yes we did because of the free time to day dream, being alone, just us, not having to go out to socialize with humans but instead we enjoy our imaginations, just being us.

Noooooooooooooooooo, it was fine but the fact that everyone, I mean everyone, so I have to spend my vacation home with people , full house , family. It’s not that I hate then but I just love my space and when they are around it’s not there, I cannot dance ,I cannot sing,πŸ˜‚

But yeah I still have to survive covid before I actually build my own house, least not a coffin. The stages of being home with family.

Stage 1: happy yeeyee, we are finally together with food , lock down will end soon, I know it will. Notso president πŸ™„πŸ™„14days it isπŸ˜‚

Yeeye, we are finally together

Stage 2: finally accepting that these people, humans won’t leave, and we have to be together for long . Food no sharing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚it’s reducing. Eating styles change , from booking, snatching, to slow( pinching a bit)

Stage 3: the online addiction, personally am not a fun of being on phone but the pandemic made me want to see and social coz I was just sick of seeing the same faces.

Stage 4: the online boredom , mood swings, the hot temperature, everyone looking like a potato. No longer waiting for the presidential address.

Stage 5: getting tired of the routine, waking up, doing nothing, except housework and cooking food. I happened to suffer alot in this stage I was pale, I remember always getting hungry yet am doing nothing. My dad was so nagging, I just felt am so tired of my parents and family πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ πŸ˜ πŸ˜  but yeah I still went through it with prayer and love.

Stage 6: gave up, on school, lifeπŸ˜‚but not eating.

Stage 7: the festive season, at least some excitement but not as before

Stage 8: the New year. Less excited but finally hope. Just never trusting New year’sπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I just laugh at my 2020 accent and resolution .

I thank God for the year even if it was hard but his love was greater. Just written some few stages of being home ,there are alot but just wanted to share a few.

Not to forget the mask isssh, it was my first time to wear a mask, how the huge nose could not fitπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ . Share about u stage in the comments, remember just saying hereπŸ™„

Written by:

Martha Atwine

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